One of our show’s regular guests and friend of the show is Mike Ramey. Check out his latest article about parents disciplining their kids, “Now’s The Time – To Cut A Switch!'”
“Now’s The Time – To ‘Cut A Switch!'” by Mike Ramey
It seems that there has been a lot of ‘loose headed’ thinking when it comes to parents disciplining their OWN kids. I’ve even heard of one state recently attempting to pass a law BANNING corporal punishment from the schools and the home. Of course, if corporal punishment is outlawed, the DOC facilities of that state are going to be doing an SRO business, from Juvenile Hall on up. Hellooooooo tax increases!
Let us begin our electronic adventures in Hollywood. There are certain members of the entertainment kabal who also happen to be parents. Let me provide a short list of a few of the celebrity parents who have forbidden their children to see their ‘art’ on the big screen, watch their videos on the small screen or listen to their music: Madonna. Steven Spielberg. Even Snoop Dogg (before he changed his name). It seems that these–and others–delight in performing without taste, class, or sexual restraint in front of YOUR children…just don’t let THEIR kids get a peek as to what they are doing–or undoing.
The latest parent ‘protestor’ is Salma Hayek. The actress, in a published, July 2012 interview, admitted that some of the studio scenes from her movie “Savages” were ‘too racy’ for her 4-year-old daughter to see (this time), and she had her daughter banned from the set while the movie was in production. Hayek made her revelation, according to the article, while she was on NBC’s “The Tonight Show”.
There is no ‘real’ mystery in how to be a parent. It boils down to whether or not you have the will to be a parent! Not a friend. Not a ‘mentor’…but a p-a-r-e-n-t! REAL parenting involves rules. REAL parenting involves making sacrifices after a child is born. REAL parenting involves saying NO more times than saying YES. REAL parenting does involves discipline–including a good spanking if needed. Oh how quickly we adults in the Black community have forgotten: There WAS a time when WE were young, and attempted to rebel against our parents.
Rebellion–back in the day and in the hood–didn’t just merit a ‘time out’ or a ‘talking to’. You were quickly spanked–like a four year old in a Quickie Mart! In the case of Grandma or Grandpa, they TOLD you to ‘…go cut me a switch…’.
They made you DANCE…like you were up for a trophy!
The FIRST lesson? You USUALLY didn’t immediately repeat the bad behavior.
The SECOND lesson? IF you cut up in school, or in public, you got a whipping there, and another one when you got home.
Let’s take a breath at this point! More than a few of you may be smiling, or grimacing–or suffering a bout of PTSD, but I’ll dare mention the THIRD lesson from a ‘parental tune up’: It kept you from entering the juvenile or criminal justice system!
PAYING A HIGH PRICE–NOW:
Tony Brown said it best: “Success is NOT being with white people; success is having what white people HAVE!” In our ‘quest’ to be integrated, desegregated or just plain old included in the melting pot of America, we forgot THESE three lessons from our past AND four very important lessons in the present:
First, that we were ‘somebody’ because of our connection to God and His church.
Second, we were ‘successful’ because we looked out for one another.
Third, we had a high respect for marriage before paternity.
Four, we had a high standard of morality!
What happened?!? We, like many modern people, turned our backs on God, the Bible and church.
We got a little money, power, and visibility. The end result? We paid a very high price in OUR quest to be ‘accepted and liked’ by the majority culture. We ‘imitated’ the majority culture’s flawed system of discipline with OUR young people. The DLS? Time outs, verbal reprimands, no spanking has FAILED in man white homes as well. The only difference (besides the occasional reporting of a mass-murderer in the MSM); when their children got before the bar of justice, because they can afford private lawyers and private insurance plans, their children got therapy.
We go with public defenders and excuses. OUR children got TIME!
I don’t care how Black or African you are. It’s too late to complain about what ‘the system’ is doing to your child at twelve, when YOU–dear parent–didn’t do your job in disciplining your OWN child, when they were two!
LACK OF DISCPLINE AMONG ADULTS, TOO:
I think a lot of people misinterpret biblical truth when it comes to this matter of the right of parents to discipline their children. One can not use biblical truth IF they have not made a connection with the author–God himself!
God does not sign off on mess, nor wink at Sin!
Let’s take this a bit further. Why are we even talking about the need to discipline children? Why do we continue to see a daily parade of out-of-control children?
Many are ‘birthed’ by adults who did NOT marry before having children.
The whole issue of corporal punishment is only a diversionary tactic by politicians and social engineers to keep the revenue coming in to fund useless programs and worthless discussions! Bullying? Really? How much is THIS gonnamake for somebody’s after school program? In truth? One can not address the beating problem until they have addressed the bastard problem in our society!
What has THIS to do with out-of-control kids? Plenty! An out-of-wedlock child is regarded as a bastard in the sight of God. Let’s make this CLEAR! That child is under a ten-generation curse (Deuteronomy 28) and IS going to have a hard way to go UNTIL the birth parents apologize to that out-of-wedlock child for their lack of physical discretion and follow God’s plan in the rebuilding of that home, instead of passing the buck. Matrimony before paternity. It still works–and it still matters.
Some may say that this plan is too hard and can not work. We’ve tried the alternatives and they have ALL failed. (As of 2011–estimated 1.5 million gang members, up from 800,000 in 2005–according to federal reports)! No amount of social engineering will cool the wrath and anger of a child born out-of-wedlock. No amount of child support; no amount of ‘teen baby showers’at the local high school, no amount of government freebies will ‘make up’ for the fact that a child’s parents didn’t have the courage–or discipline–to marry before reproducing. Once a child discovers that they are a bastard? They get angry. VERY angry! And, like ‘The Hulk’, they don’t care whom they take their rage out upon–or who gets hurt in the process. Our society is presently under attack by groups of angry children because groups of rebellious adults thought more of their immediate pleasure than their future marital responsibilities. They birthed these babies and have been allowed to go on as if nothing has happened. Some of these undisciplined ‘adults’ attend our churches, sing in our choirs–and even preach from God’s pulpits. You may be sitting next to one of these wayward breeders in your OWN church next Sunday and NOT know it! They have never been held accountable, nor felt shame for their actions.
PUT BOTH ISSUES ON THE TABLE:
I realize that this will go against the teaching of some churches and denominations. It doesn’t go against the teaching of the Bible. Disciplined children BEGIN with disciplined parents who START the discipline process by getting married BEFORE the children arrive! IF this formula isn’t followed, chaos is inevitable.
I realize that there are some households where corporal punishment ‘hasn’t’ been used (much) in the rearing of children. Might this be because the parents united in matrimony BEFORE they united in the bedroom? The MAJORITY of us Old Schoolers have stayed out of ‘major’ trouble because our married parents or married grandparents got a hold of our backsides when it was needed. Marriage represents unity and discipline of men and women in front of God but ALSO in front of their children. Even IF a marriage ends in divorce–and some have–that child KNOWS that they have the name of a REAL father who was man enough to marry his/her mother, and his/her mother was woman enough–and respected herself enough–not to have sex with a man who wasn’t going to marry her.
Let me close with this: Will those adults who didn’t have the guts to marry before they had children please meet the Village Elders behind the woodshed? On your way there, cut us a switch for YOU and your wayward children. After that, THEN we can start the rebuilding process…for the good of ALL of our communities.
Mike Ramey, a syndicated columnist and book reviewer, lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. THE RAMEY COMMENTARIES appears on fine websites/blogs around the world. Email manhoodline@yahoo.com. © 2012 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
The opinions expressed herein are those of the author(s), and are not necessarily representative of those of The Dr. Vibe Show.
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God bless, peace, be well and keep the faith,
Dr. Vibe
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